For a bit of fun, I dredged AI to give me a design for ”battleship possible”. Among the various choices, I was particularly drawn to this one (see below). I rather like the clean lines, which has a bit of art deco flair to it. 🤔 Hmmm, come to think of it, I could also get this made into a wearable. Especially to be worn as a prophetic proclamation during treatment and consult days.

Mid August 2023, I had returned to see Dr Chuwa (breast surgeon) , for the PET CT scan report. She looked at me to break the news that it was stage 4, spread to both lungs, and therefore she won’t be operating on me. She had also taken the liberty to call Dr Dent, my oncologist, to formally hand me over to her. She informed that she asked Dr Dent to get me on a clinical trial asap for new drugs, and make me one of the few ”longer term survivors”. Then she exhorted me to have a fighting spirit and not to give up. Everything was just too surreal for me, and I was probably too numb to react in any polarized manner of emotion. The rest of the day was a blur of activities as I rushed back to the East, to CGH, to get my records cut into a CD.

As the news began to sink in, I took stock of the entire context, including how I was prodded to go for a mammogram, to discovering the 2 specialists. I knew that I knew in my heart, that my time is not up. I resolved to face my greatest existential crisis head-on. To hell with the statistics! I decided I would be the outlier, and I will be healed.

Picking up my Bible , I sought the Lord and was reminded that “all things are possible with God”. The primary Bible verse stating "all things are possible" is Matthew 19:26, where Jesus says, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible" (ESV). This verse emphasizes that what is humanly impossible—specifically salvation and overcoming trials—becomes possible through God's power.

Another key verse is Luke 1:37, which states, "For nothing will be impossible with God".

Related verses :

Mark 9:23: "And Jesus said to him, 'If you can! All things are possible for one who believes'".

Jeremiah 32:17: "Ah, Lord God! It is you who have made the heavens and the earth by your great power and by your outstretched arm! Nothing is too hard for you".

So I told my Heavenly Father, ”Nothing is too hard for you. You are more than able. You’re God and the doctors are men. They say there are limitations, but nothing is impossible for you“. And I simply believed.

Life was good. I had just had an enbloc after almost 31 years in my old walk-up apartment, and moved into a new abode for under a year. It was 2023. I was still settling down in my new place and had taken a gap season in my volunteer work with two different organizations (teaching English to under privileged preschoolers). I had also managed to tick a couple of trips off my bucket list.

I remember clearly, 13 July 2023 at 5:52am! J suddenly dropped me a WhatsApp message: “Medical checkup ! I woke up this morning and this popped into my head for you”. This was followed by 13 messages from her, urging me to go for a mammogram, blood tests, and to upgrade my insurance coverage etc. J is one of my childhood best friends, and never one to mince her words with me. 5:58am, she wrote : “I seriously need you now to go do your medical check ups”. Grrr 😡. Quite maddening, I thought to myself. What in the world has gotten into her. 6:15am, J wrote: “Please take this seriously, for this is God’s message to you today!”. I poohed her off for the day, and she resumed her nagging the next day, informing that her morning rosary prayer was interrupted at least three times with the same thought, and this was a first for her. J and I differ in denomination. She’s a Spirit-filled Catholic and I’m a Spirit-filled Protestant believer. Just to get her off my back, I decided to check with my insurance agent if the hospitalization plan I was on is the premium one. Indeed, it was.

Exactly four days later, 17 July 2023, I suddenly received a message from D at 7:35am : “How are you keeping ? Had a dream of you and C this morning”. C is my housemate, who is also a mutual friend of D’s. Curious, I asked her what her dream was about, whether it had anything to do with me going for a medical checkup. This was her reply: “Weird dream. Both of you rushed into a room where I was, and you asked me to take care of your Cartier watch, and then you left. Then I woke up. I did not even get to try on your watch”. I had a good laugh and didn‘t know what to make of her dream. Me with a Cartier watch? I haven’t even been wearing a watch for the last several years. I thought my two friends, J and D, must be absolutely bonkers.

C eventually awakened and I updated her about D’s message. C went to make herself a cup of coffee, then came out of the kitchen saying: “Hey! I’m in D’s dream. I know D very well. She moves in the Spirit and hears from God”. C then decided to join the dots, saying she’s to drag me to a medical checkup as soon as possible. Her read was that the Cartier watch signified the value of time. After much hemming and hawing, I finally struck a deal with her. Only if C also does a mammogram, then I’ll agree to it. She said yes 🙌🏻 and proceeded to call a polyclinic to schedule the mammograms. I agreed to 28 July 2023, a date several days after my birthday.

Ominously, I received a letter the following week to advise that I go to Changi General Hospital (CGH) for further evaluation. C had no such note. Given the sober language in the letter, I decided to set a date at CGH the next week. I had a second mammogram done, where it was confirmed that breast cancer had been detected. Something about the tentativeness of the CGH surgeon left me rather unsettled.

Back home, I began to make inquiries about potential breast surgeons and the oncologists I could consult for a second opinion. As a surgery would typically precede chemotherapy, I landed on a breast surgeon in private practice that my brother in law knew (my brother in law is a senior pathologist at a public hospital and a former member of a tumour board), and proceeded to make an appointment to see her after the needle biopsy date at CGH.

As scheduled, I went for the needle biopsy and ultrasound scan at CGH, and received news about the specific type, triple negative breast cancer, that I’d been afflicted with. Needing a change of scenery, I took off to Changi beach, before the ultrasound appointment. While there, I felt compelled to call my friend, B. Briefly, I got her up to speed about my recent sequence of events. Before I could tell her any more information, she went, “Rebecca Dent”. This is her sister’s oncologist, extremely senior and experienced, based in National Cancer Centre Singapore. Right there at the beach, I did a quick search online, and bingo! This caught my attention: “Her main research interest is in the field of breast cancer, focusing specifically on early, large operable, locally advanced and metastatic triple negative breast cancer (TNBC)”. Without any hesitation, C who had accompanied me for the day, immediately placed a call to NCCS and booked Dr Dent’s next available date for a consult (which would follow a week after my second opinion with the private practice breast surgeon).

To cut a long story short, she did a physical examination on me and immediately scheduled me next day for a full body PET CT scan ( unavailable at CGH). She asked who I would consult as my oncologist, and her face lit up when I said Dr Rebecca Dent, and she added, “she’s the best for TNBC”. Apparently, they know each other, and had common patients as well. I returned the next day to see her after the PET CT scan, to get the grim update that the affliction was stage 4, grade 3, meaning metastatic and aggressive. She told me surgery was off the books because it’s stage 4, and I needed to see the oncologist immediately.

Thus, the start of my journey on board BattIeship Possible. I determined that against all natural odds, I would manifest healing. Like David said in Psalm 118:17, “ I shall not die, but live, and will declare the works of God”. I have always known I am a new covenant child of God, and the supernatural nature of my discovery about this attack on my body attests to my covenant friend‘s faithfulness. I admit I was initially perplexed about the lateness of the stage when this was discovered. Strangely, there were no tell tale lumps in my breast, and the breast surgeon herself said the cells were mutating so quickly that my entire left breast had been affected, without lumps. Then J said that the late stage discovery was so that my healing will be all due to God, and never because of men. I agree with her, and as the Bible stories have shown, God’s timing, while seemingly late by men’s standards, usually are on time by His standards. Cases in point, Lazarus‘ resurrection and Peter’s walking on water. In Lazarus’ case, Jesus lingered two extra days upon hearing that Lazarus was critically ill. The Bible said He loved Lazarus, and stayed two more days. As for Peter’s case, Jesus appeared walking on water towards the disciples’ boat only at the fourth watch! These eleventh hour (in Lazarus’ case, perhaps past the eleventh hour since Lazarus was already four days in the cave already ) appearances totally defy human logic. Also, in a very unexplainable way, I felt extremely loved by God, to have been told by Him through two of my best friends. Even landing on “the best” oncologist for TNBC was too coincidental.

God’s fingerprints have been on my journey since the start. Today, I’m three months short of three years since I was made aware about the disease. Indeed, this has been a supernaturally natural discovery, and I want to testify of God’s goodness through this blog. My story is ongoing, as I am still undergoing immunotherapy treatment every third week. Join me as I chronicle my latest rhemas and revelations that the Holy Spirit has shared.